Memory Lost to the Shadow
by Willow Pierce
Summary: Runin, an Elfling who was captured and tortured by Orcs has no memory of who she is or her home. She was living in Tharbad with the Dwarves of Erebor when they return from the quest to reclaim their homeland, they venture back to Erebor with her and the other Dwarves, but why does Lord Elrond stop them and force the group to go to Mirkwood? Also why is he so fixated on Runin?
1. Little Fox

Sometimes, while I am asleep, fragments of my lost memories return to me though my dreams. When this happens, which is rarely, my subconscious becomes filled to the brim of pictures of a beautiful valley, laden with hundreds of crystal like waterfalls, and golden trees that sing in the wind.

Sometimes, I see the blurred silhouettes of people who I assume are my family. There are five blurred figures that I always see in succession; the first, is always that of a tall man, dressed in forest green regal robes. He stands alone, straight and tall, pride radiating from him. After a moment he fades away and the silhouettes of two boys of the same age. One of the two radiates peace, while the other radiates a protective yet dangerous aura. They could not be more then twentyish, and even though the auras are so different, the moment that they are there my subconscious is filled with laughter and joy. The two silhouettes I see are dramatically different in height. The girl, who is about a foot smaller than the boys before her radiates love, and she is holding the hand of a tiny child who has a deep blue and silver outline. None of these "visions" ever last more than a few seconds, and once they fade away it feels as if they are gone forever. I like to think they are my family, but I know I will never know for sure.

It makes it impossible for me to hold onto hope when all I have to go on is assumptions, and no information. I don't know whether or not my mind cannot, or simply will not, remember anything after I woke up in the caring arms of the Dwarves. To outsiders looking in on the situation it is easy for them to judge me as to why I did not look further into the memory fragments. Throughout the few years I have spent with the Dwarves, I have learned not to encourage or humor the memories, for trying to hard physically hurts. We have come to call these…things attacks for we do not know what else they would be named.

They always start when something, like a memory fragment, is triggered by a thought, voice, or a picture. When that happens my mind goes through this vicious cycle repeating whatever was triggered over and over again. It triggers raging migraines and my body against its will, will curl into itself and within a few moments, the tremors start. They get violent and uncontrollable, and on top of it all my body feels as if it's being stabbed by thousands of needles at once. The worst part is that nothing can stop the attack until it's over. However, I never make it that far before I pass out

When I awake from the nightmare like trance, I am forced to remind myself that my dreams are just dreams. I do not know who these people are or if they are even alive. That is why it is easier for me to assume that I will never meet them, for the chances of me meeting them, or needing to know who they are, is insanely slim. There are just too many unknown variables to try to figure out anything about my past. At the end of the day, I could guess all I want too about who I am, or where I came from and it wouldn't make a single difference. So, for the sake of my sanity and my heart, I, along with my new family, see it in my best interest to allow myself to forget. I never try to force anything to do with my past and life is better that way.

Now, do not get me wrong, just because I don't know where I came from doesn't mean I don't know anything about myself. I know a few things in fact, for example, I don't need a wizard to tell me that I am no Dwarf. The excessively pointy ears and lack of any sort of facial hair tends to give it away. I know that I was taken in by the dwarves because I was hurt close to death and was just a lost child. They like to assume that my family is dead, because there were no other survivors traveling with the Orc pack.

I also know that no Dwarf that I have met has admitted, in any sort of context, to having the ability to communicate with the trees, my friends. As far as I know, no other being knows of a language spoken between the leaves and branches. I allowed my leg to dangle my leg over the branch of the Oak I was sitting in as my hand absentmindedly caressed my cheek. I felt a faint sting resurface from the first time I had asked about too many questions about it. I took a deep breath and allowed my worries to flow from my body. The Oak I was sitting in wrapped its branches around me in a protective, yet comforting manner, and sung me to sleep, just as it always did.

**-Flashback-**

My eyes fluttered open when the dying cry of a robin sounded next to me, along with deep laughing voices. My vision blurred slightly and it was hard to focus, but eventually I was able to make out the colors of the beautifully woven canopy of golden orange and red leaves. The voices were a different matter, they broke the scenery of peace and the mere sound of the voices speaking in whatever language they were speaking, chilled me to the bone. I didn't move as I watched the setting sun danced around the shadows, saying a temporary goodbye to the leaves. I could almost hear the promises of meeting each other tomorrow.

I lay on the ground for a few moments, listening to the sounds of crunching birds and a small fire, before I decided to try to stand to see what was going on and what I was doing asleep in the forest. I lifted my slowly arm, searching for something to support my weight with. My hand rested on a trunk of a tree I forced my body from the ground. It wasn't until I saw the blood running down my arm in a steady flowing red river did the pain hit me. My entire body stung and burned, but my fear clouded my senses. Where was I? What happened? "Ada?" I whispered into the forest, silently preying whatever did this to me wouldn't hear.

A deep, slimy voice croaked from the fire about twenty feet away, "Oi, the raw meats up."

My heart stopped as a green, horribly disfigured creature emerged from the shadows. It snarled as it walked over and looked me in the eye, pushing me up against the tree. His breath smelled of rotten meat, and I swear for a moment I saw a glint in his eye that terrified me. He rubbed himself against me, and I suddenly remembered what Adar had said about venturing into the forest alone and unprotected. All the horror stories I had heard about Orcs from my big brothers came rushing into my head all at once. A tremor ran through my body as the green creature forced me to the frozen earth below. As my body collided with the ground, I let allowed myself to let out a scream, "ADA!"

He slammed something against my head and suddenly everything went black. I awoke some time later when a heavy weight was pushed from atop of me. There was a small man with a long white beard stood above me. He was scanning my body as the distant sound of metal on metal sounded in the background. His hand clutching my wrist trying to feel for a pulse, but when I opened my eyes he started holding my hand in a caring manner. When I tried to speak my voice came out all horse and raspy, it didn't sound like my own at all, "Where's my Adar?"

As he looked into my eyes, I noticed his were dawned with pain and sadness. I already had my answer, but he answered my question slowly, and softly. "I do not know little one." He shook his head slowly, "Do you know where you are? What's your name?"

I didn't speak as my mind was racing, and my face melted into confusion. My name? The cogs in my brain whirled and whizzed trying to come up with something, anything. Tears filled my eyes as my head suddenly started pounding, "I don't remember, I don't...I can't." Suddenly something returned to the forefront of my mind, "Orcs!?"

"Aye we found the Orcs, but we took care of them. Did," he paused and his voice started quivering, "did they do this to you?"

It all came rushing back at once, the countless beatings, and torture for no reason whatsoever. I screamed and writhed as if it were happening all over again. I was so consumed by pain I did not notice the second man walk over slowly. He was taller and bore a short dark brown beard, he picked me up gingerly. They quickly walked towards the direction of a in the distance campfire. I screamed into the fur of his jacket, never once stopping for air until my body gave way to darkness.

**-End Flashback-**

I shot awake from my dream like trance, immediately trying to forget every memory that had just ran through my mind. I wiped away the small line of sweat that had formed on my brow as I tried to shove the pictures from my mind. My hands subconsciously began braiding my long, bright red hair. Years ago, Balin had taught me a way to braid it so my ears would stay hidden, since then every time I had a nightmare I would spend hours practicing, braiding and unbraiding, trying desperately to forget.

Ever since Balin and the other Dwarves left with Thorin to reclaim Erebor, memory fragments have been returning to me more frequently. I have had one attack while I was home alone, but luckily, Gimli found me as I was regaining consciousness. I had been staying in Dwalin's house since Thorin found me in the forest. Therefore, when he had asked me to look over the house while he was away, I of course agreed because I was going to be staying there anyway. Now, without everyone here, the only thing that I have to do is practice my archery, see after Gimli, and await their return.

Durin's day had passed no more than four moons ago, and I can't help but wonder if they would be coming back at all. I wasn't well enough to stay alone for this past year and few months, a lifetime would be impossible. I sighed and shifted my weight in the oak branches. Relocating to another home in Middle Earth wasn't an option for me. Not only was Tharbad the only home I knew, but I wasn't well enough physically to make the journey. My mind has been in this tug-of-war match between, hoping my family does reclaim Erebor, and not at all.

I feel horrible for thinking that way, but I can't help but be afraid of the unknown. I don't want to leave, or move at all. All of the few memories I possess are of this place, and I feel like leaving would take a piece of my heart from me. The trees, who were my only close friends, protected me from the unknown and I love them for it. At the end of the day, I guess I could call Fili, Kili, Nori, Dori, and Gimli friends, but I can't help but notice that when I try to get close to some of the other Dwarves, they push further away. After so much failure, I had to stop trying.

I know it seems as if all of my memories are all bad, but they aren't. Just because my half-friends get rushed away from me doesn't mean they don't try again. My first happy memory was when I got my name. I can still remember Uncle Thorin's face when he decided to name me Runin, which means fox, because of my bright red hair and emerald eyes. The next year my Dwalin and Nori spearheaded a small birthday party for me; Kili gave me a beautiful bow that he had been teaching me to use, Dwalin gave me a brand new forest green cloak, Nori had been teaching me his lock picking skills and I can easily say I am an expert now. Fili, however, went beyond, and gave me a beautiful silver fox pendant that was about the size of a small pebble, it has my first initial engraved on the back and he made me promise him that I would wear it all the time to remind me of him.

Every time I think of my extended family, I can't help but smile. Dwalin has taken the place in my heart of a father figure, while Balin is my uncle and teacher. He taught me all about the history of the Dwarves and their ways. Nori and Dori acted like the older brothers I never had and Thorin is like a close Uncle to me while Kili is my cousin. I can say in all honesty that, as far as I know, Fili is the best friend I have ever had in my life. I cannot count the hours we have spent up in tree branches talking about anything from life to the stars. Once we fell asleep together in a meadow and were woken up by the loud footfalls of an angry Dwalin. We were yelled at for running off, but he smiled at the end so I knew he only did it because he had to appear tough.

The sun was beginning to set as I leapt from the comfortable branches of my friend. I never dared to venture anywhere near the forest when it's dark, and I had promise to keep to Gloin of watching after Gimli, his son. I quickened my pace, a small smile playing at my lips, as I thought of how upset Gimli would be if dinner were late.

The walk home in the cool autmn was quick and calming. Before the Dwarves had left Tharbad to travel east, Balin had given me a list of things he had wanted me to start researching, too keep up my studies. Today I was supposed to be learning about the humans and history of Gondor, but I was already ahead so I didn't really care if I missed a day.

I opened the small wooden door to the place I called home and called into the house, "Gimli you home?"

"Aye!" He yelled as he turned the corner at the end of the hallway, "Where have you been all day Ru? I wanted you to help me with archery today."

I turned and locked the door tightly behind me, "Sorry Gim, my head hasn't been in the right today at all, I didn't get much sleep last night." I walked towards the kitchen and smiled at him, "On a more serious note...you want dinner?"

He laughed and nodded as he joined me in the kitchen. Gimli was a few years younger than me at the age of about eleven. Balin and I assume I am a few years older because of my height, he says that I am about fourteen, but again we aren't sure. It's weird though I was taken in by the Dwarves a few years back my hair hasn't grown at all. Its length staying at around my lower back and my height at 4'7.

Gimli's voice brought me back to reality, "Can we have rabbit stew for dinner?"

"Of course," I replied, "but only if you help me." Gimli's face beamed as he ran around the kitchen gathering the ingredients. I cooked the stew to the best of my ability and we spent the next hour or so talking about nothing particular and eating.

Gimli finished his soup with a slurp and looked at me, "Ru, why don't you train with me or Kili ever?" He asked suddenly.

I slurped at a spoonful of the hot soup before I answered, "I practice archery with Kili a lot."

"No, I mean like warrior training. Like what I do with Dwalin."

I swallowed the last bit of soup I had in my small bowl, "Balin thought that with my condition, as of right now, warrior training isn't a good idea."

He nodded and we talked for a little more before he shuffled off to bed. I cleared the table and sat by one of the front windows with a candle lit. They should have been back by now. What if the dragon got them? No, I can't think about that, they have to come back and they are.

I don't know when I fell asleep, but I jolted awake when I heard the front door slam open, "Runin! Gimli! We have done it! We are finally going home for good." It was Dwalin and just seeing his face allowed me to let out the breath of air I was holding in. I smiled and hugged him tightly, but I kept my mouth shut. Gimli had run out to find Gloin, who was bursting with excitement.

"I'm so happy you're home Dwal," I whispered quietly, "I missed you so much."

He hugged me tighter and laughed, "Don't worry Ru I'm not going to leave you that easily." He was so happy about his home; I held my tongue about my feelings. This had always been my home...not Erebor.


	2. Your Life Is Now Long Gone

After the city had been reclaimed and my family returned, much of my life seemed to become uprooted. It felt as if my little world was turned upside down, everyone was so focused on getting their things together, it made me feel very out of place. It had taken Dwalin and me a few days to get our things together but after which, he allowed me to do what I wanted while he was helping the others get their things together.

Unfortunately, my last day in Tharbad eventually came, I thought I was prepared mentally for what I was going to do…never have I been so wrong. I made sure to wake up just as the sun was beginning to rise in the sky so I could say goodbye to my friends. I stood from the comfortable, warm arms of my bed as quiet as a mouse and grabbed my cloak before I slipped out the window. The usual quick walk to the forest took longer than usual. I was purposefully I was taking my time during the walk, etching every detail in my memory for the last time. The small dirt road took its usual turn into the forest and my usual excited smile replaced by a sad smile. As I heard, the familiar comforting voice of the Oak I had spent so many hours of my life in I relaxed a little, "Ah Penneth, elen sila lumenn omentilmo."

"Cormamin lindua ele lle, Mellon-nin." I don't know how many hours I sat, talking into the wind, but I know it was early into the evening when I left. We strayed away from the topic of my leaving until the last hours of my visit, when he wrapped his branches around my body in a protective manner.

When the time finally came to say goodbye, I would be lying to say I didn't have tears in my eyes. All the Oak kept repeating was, "Hannon-lle Penneth, hannon-lle." I started silently sobbing when I finally left his branches for the last time. The Oak, as well as the trees around me, told me they would spread word about me to the forest near Erebor so the trees would welcome me with open arms.

As I turned to walk out of the forest as I spoke into the wind one last time, "Aa' lasser en lle coia orn n' omenta gurtha". I pulled the hood of my cloak up so no one would see my face. Less than a league away I saw Fili running towards me a smile on his face. I chose to ignore him, and pretended I never saw him coming in my direction. He ran up to me, but I pushed past him not particularly wanting to talk right now. Just as I had taken no more than a few steps away from the forest edge, back onto the familiar dirt path, a pair of strong yet gentile arms brought me back into the forest. I knew immediately that it was Fili.

He turned by body in his arms so I would be facing him before he placed me on the ground and removed my hood, "Runin," he called gently speaking in Khuzdul, "kulhu wîhyid?"

I know his eyes were filled with worry, but in that moment I didn't care, and didn't want to see him. "Stop," I whispered as I attempted to push him away, "please."

"Nay," he shook his head, "I am not leaving you alone while you're upset."

A sudden bout of anger came over me, "I had to say goodbye to the only constant friends I had so forgive me for being upset."

He pushed me away from his chest and held me at arm's length; I looked at the ground as my angry tears fell to the soil. Fili lifted my head with my chin, forcing me to look him in his silver eyes, "Only friends?" His tone was soft as he wiped away one of my tears with his thumb, "You have no idea Runin."

"Fee what are you talking abo..." he cut me off by smashing his lips against mine before I could finish. At first, I was too shocked to react, but eventually I allowed myself to melt into his embrace. His beard tickled, but it was surprisingly nice.

When he pulled away from me, he moved a hair away from my face and smiled sweetly, "Your face is the same color as your hair." Of course, him saying this made me blush harder. I reached for the hood of my cloak, but he caught my hand and moved it away before I could even touch it, "Stop it Ru, you are fine." He pulled me into another hug and whispered into my ear, "You will always be safe in my arms, never think that you are alone."

"Fili I..." What could I say? Eventually I closed my mouth and pretended me saying something never happened in the first place.

He pulled away from me and kissed my forehead before he took my hand, "Come, Dwalin was searching for you."

"A...aye," he squeezed my hand as we walked onto the path in the clearing, my ears perked up as my friends thanked me one last time in the wind. We reached a fork in the path and I squeezed Fili's hand once more before we walked our separate ways. I replaced my hood as Dwalin's house began to appear over the small green hill.

I was too preoccupied with dissecting the days past events, I literally ran into Dwalin's chest. He stopped me and placed his hand on his hips, "Lassie, where were you?"

"Sorry Uncle, I was just saying goodbye to some friends."

"Aye," he nodded, remembering what I told him yesterday, "it's time to come home, we will be leaving with Balin tomorrow at dawn." He paused before his hard exterior melted and a smile grew on my face, "Take your hood off, it's not raining. There is no need to be wearing it."

"Yes Uncle." I removed the hood and followed behind him.

"You know Runin you don't have to call me Uncle if you don't want to."

I smiled, knowing he was obviously uncomfortable with this 'mushy-gushy garbage' as he would put it, "Aye I do, but I see you as a father figure so I think it fits. However, if you don't want me too then I don't have too."

He stopped, turned around, and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Runin, I don't know what will happen when we get to Erebor, but you will always have a home with me. You can call me Uncle if you want, you can even call me father if you're comfortable with it."

I smiled brightly and hugged him tightly, "Thank you 'Adad," I giggled as I tested the new word, "it means a lot."

He smiled and rubbed his fist in my hair, messing it up a little, "Come lassie, we have to get you packed."

"Aye." We walked back to the house and he handed me a black burlap backpack, and told me to get my things together. I removed my cloak and walked towards my room to gather the few clothes I had, which consisted of mostly light blue long sleeve dresses and brown leather corsets. They used to be Dis's (Fili and Kili's mom) so originally they were much too big, but Balin helped me tailor them so now they were perfect and fit me just fine.

After I had packed my clothes away in the bag, I undid the multiple braids in my hair and laid on my bed fingering my silver fox necklace. My mind traveled back to Fili and I felt my face turn scarlet red, immediately I tried to shake the memory from my head, but it wasn't that easy. The thought that Fili had all those emotions pent up was more than enough to make me smile. I closed my eyes and thought about everything that happened and it all just seemed like a dream.

I turned towards the little end table I had next to me and opened the drawer; inside I kept a fairy tale book I had found somewhere, that talked about a magical race called Elves. The drawer also contained a silver and green leaf pin that Dwalin had found on me when I was hurt. I cherished it dearly, considering it was the only thing that was unbroken from my past. I never wore it though, I was always so afraid it might break. I pinned it to the underside of the backpack flap and placed the book on top of it. After everything was packed away, I checked and rechecked my bow and arrows, because I had nothing better to do.

Finally, after I had gotten bored of sitting and doing nothing, I decided it might be fun to go bother Dwalin. I was very shocked to see Kili staring out of the small window in the den, "Um hello Kili," he turned away from the window and smiled at me, "what are you doing here?" I asked politely.

"Oh hey Ru," he leaned against the wall slightly before he continued, "I was wondering if you wanted to hit the archery range one last time with me before we leave tomorrow."

"Oh, sure Kee!" I said excitedly, "I've been practicing while you were away and I've been meaning to show you my awesome skills."

He laughed, "I already asked Dwalin and he said it was fine. He actually also said that you can stay with Fili, Uncle, and I for dinner if you want."

"That sounds great! Let me grab my bow, I'll be back in a second." I ran quickly to my room and grabbed my bow and quiver, but when I turned around to leave, I was surprised to see Kili opening the door to my room and stepping inside. I was confused so I let out a forced laugh, "um Kili you know tis impolite to come to a lady's camber uninvited."

He turned around, closing the door lightly. When he turned back to face me his face was filled with an anger I had never seen there before, "Where did you get that book." He gestured to the Fairy Tale book I had sitting on the floor, his tone was more than simply demanding, it actually scared me.

"What? I stammered.

"This," he yelled as he picked up the book, thrusting it under my nose. "Where did you get this book?!"

I backed away from him, shrugging lightly, "I don't remember. Tis just a children's story anyway, why does it matter?"

Kili's eyes and face literally turned deep red with anger. He growled and grabbed my wrist with his hand, pulling me towards him, "Lying to me is the worst thing you can do right now. Where did you get it?"

I tried to break his grasp but his grip only tightened, "Kili stop! You are hurting me!"

"Why should I let go?" He pushed me up against the wall and got in my face, his eyes were no more than a few millimeters from my own, "I don't know what my brother sees in you." He purred slightly, "why don't we find out."

"K..." He slammed my arms against the wall and forced himself against me.

I whimpered at the pain, but he ignored it, "You know I could get you kicked out of the kingdom for treason. It wouldn't be hard for me to make you an outcast among us." He paused his voice still soft, "We've all worked so hard to keep you from knowing, but maybe it's time."

"What?" I asked confused.

He laughed, a deep scary laugh, "No elf has ever been allowed into Erebor to stay there permanently."

"Elf?" I asked in a small voice.

He shook his head, a smug smile plastered to his face, "Yes Elf." He chuckled a little, "You don't have a clue." He didn't wait for me to respond, "Once upon a time there was a race of people called Elves. They were a horrible, greedy people who refused to help anyone when they needed it. The stole from our people and turned their back to Middle Earth. They killed many people and joined forces with the Orcs. Over the years, their skin morphed into that of the Orcs. When we found you, the darkness had not yet touched you. Your father, Adar in their language was selling you to the Orcs when we..."

"Stop!" I screamed, "You're lying!"

He pushed me up against the wall again, and grabbed at the strings of my bodice, "Why don't we see if I'm lying." Before I could respond, he shoved his tongue down my throat. He released my arms and I elbowed him in the gut. He doubled over and I took my chance to escape through the window.

I ran as fast as I could away from the house. I don't know how long I ran and I didn't stop until I was sure he wasn't following. It was dark, cold and I had no cloak. I rubbed my arms against my shivering arms, as I tried to remain calm. I couldn't chance an attack right now, not in the dark, in the middle of nowhere.

Kili was lying, he had to be. I knew that here were holes in his story, but it still didn't make me feel any better. If I were an Orc how could I have pale skin and red hair. I have a visible scar over my eye and others littering my body from when I was attacked. I don't have Orkish tendencies as far as I know, and if I were an Orc why would the Dwarves keep me alive.

I walked to the nearest tree and pressed my forehead against it, I needed to take a second to process what just happened. I ended up wandering back to my favorite Oak in tears, he was confused but he didn't care. He welcomed me back in open arms and I told him in our language what just happened. After I was done talking, he warned me to stay away from the brown haired Dwarf.

As the moon was beginning to set I risked sneaking back into the house through my window. I picked up the book that lay abandoned under my bed and placed it in my bag. I grabbed my nag and bow and walked into the den to see Dwalin waiting fo me, smoking pipe in hand. "Where were you and why are your eyes red?"

My heart suddenly rose to my throat, "Um I was saying goodbye to a friend." Well it wasn't a complete lie.

He took a long drag of his pipe and looked me in the eye, "I believe you said that yesterday Lassie."

"Forgive me father, it's just this is the only home I know, and I couldn't sleep so I wandered."

For a split second his hard exterior melted, "Do not worry, you shall love Erebor. That shall be your home now, I promise things will get better soon. Now run and see Thorin little fox, he wanted to speak with you."

I nodded, fixed my cloak, and walked the short path to the house of Durin. The house was slightly bigger and nicer then Dwalin's but still the same general thing. I knocked on the large oak door and adjusted my quiver, Fili answered and I suddenly felt dirty, "Uncle summoned me." He let me in, but the fact that I would not look up to him confused him.

Thorin was running around the small house, shoving things into a backpack. He didn't even look up when he spoke to me, "Runin, you will be traveling with us. Go gather your bag."

"Aye." My face remained emotionless when Kili and I made eye contact, but I would be lying if I didn't say I had a slight pep in my step as I exited the house.

I walked back to Dwalin's and smiled when I saw Balin there as well. I told then the plan and grabbed my small pack, "I wonder why Thorin wanted you to travel with them?" Dwalin asked.

"Not sure," I whispered.

Balin turned to me, "What's wrong Lassie."

I sighed and played with my braids, "I guess I'm just afraid of the unknown."

Dwalin walked over to us, "Ah but that's what makes it fun, does it not?"

"I guess."

Dwalin suddenly perked up, "I got you something while we were away," he ran over to a drawer and picked up a cloth that was bound in string. "Here," he handed it to me and motioned for me to open it.

I sat on a worn wooden chair and rested it on my lap. I unwrapped the goatskin cloth to find two twin silver blades with dark blue handles. They were about the size of my forearm and were sharp as dragon claws. "They're beautiful," I said as I traced my fingers over the cursive lettering that felt familiar, but I let the thought go.

"Be safe Runin, Middle Earth is a dangerous place," Dwalin paused for a moment, "especially Mirkwood and Rivendale. Always keep your face and ears hidden."

I knew better then to ask questions so I only nodded my head. As I turned to walk out of the door, Dwalin grabbed my face, forced our foreheads gently together, speaking softly, "Be safe little one, we will see you on the other side."

He released me and immediately I felt better. No matter where I was, I knew I always had a home with Dwalin.

**Elven (Sindarian) Phrases:**

**Penneth – **Little one

**Mellon-nin –** My Friend

**Elen sila lumenn omentilmo ****– **A star shall shine on the hour of our meeting

**Cormamin lindua ele lle ****– **My heart sings to see thee

**Aa' lasser en lle coia orn n' omenta gurtha ****– **May the leaves of your life tree never turn brown

**Dwarvish (Khuzdul) Phrases:**

**Kulhu wîhyid ****– **What happened

**'Adad****– **father


	3. A Whisper in the Dark

**_Runin's POV:_**

The journey to the place that I would soon consider to be my new home started down an unfamiliar dirt path. Thorin, Kili, Fili and I left Tharbad just as the sun was beginning to peak over the autumn leaves of my tall Oak friends. We were all atop ponies that were really easy to work with around the few obstacles there was. I was grateful they were so tame because I lacked the confidence in my skills as a rider. Since my accident I have had very little experience on horses, so the more independent my pony was the more comfortable I felt.

We started down the road as a group in no particular order, but as we left the safety of the only land I've ever known, we formed a procession line. Thorin of course was at the front leading with Fili just behind him, next was me and behind me was Kili. I was very glad for this arrangement because not only was I protected, I didn't have to stare at the back of Kili's head for the entire duration of our journey.

We traveled most of the day with few breaks that were only taken to let the ponies rest. It was only when the sun began to set beyond the hills of the distant mountains that Thorin decided we had traveled far enough. We easily found a small clearing to set up camp and after I was helped down from my horse I took to the activity of treating my saddle soars which were abundant enough that it kept me busy for some time.

As I was treating to my many small abrasions Kili and Fili untacked the horses and left to fetch water to boil over a fire that would be built once Thorin and I scavenged for wood to build it. The going was slow and silent before Thorin suddenly stopped, placed his wood near where we were going to build the fire and motioned for me to do the same. I nodded and followed his lead, I sat on a down log as Thorin took flint from his pocket and began building the fire, as he did this he spoke to me softly, "Ru I asked you to travel with us for a reason, not just to protect you. Do you know why?"

"Nay." I spoke somewhat distracted from my uncles words since I was focused on the small auburn leaf in my hands.

Thorin took a deep breath before he sat down next to me. I placed the leaf next to me suddenly concerned by his changed demeanor which was now much more serious. He waited a moment before he began to speak, choosing his words very carefully as he talked, "Firstly I need you to understand that you will always have a home with us." I nodded before he continued, "Balin, Dwalin, and I all believe it is time you got a few answers to decoding your mysterious past. know you don't remember anything from before the incident. No matter what we learn or do not learn you are always going to be a Dwarf to us. You have proved yourself more than worthy of that title."

I said nothing, only nodding my head at my Uncle's kind, heartfelt words. Thorin and I had been particularly close ever since I met him, since the day he saved me. Once I came to, we bonded quickly because of how similarly we carry ourselves. We are both very private people, constantly closing off our own emotions to put others ahead of ourselves for the sake of our kin. Therefore when he placed his hand on my back it came as a sort of shock to both of us I believe, "I need you to trust me and listen to me now more than ever. Tomorrow afternoon we will be passing through Rivendale, it is crucial to your safety that you to keep your face hidden."

I nodded once more, saying nothing in response and began to playwith the end of a piece of hair that was over my shoulder. He picked up on my discomfort immediately and enveloped me in a hug, "I know you are afraid, but you always us. We will never abandon you."

"Aye, I know. I will do what you ask of me Uncle, without question." I nuzzled my head into his slightly and sighed.

As he was pulling away from me I had the chance to witness him smile. This is very rare for Thorin, so immediately I felt better. So there we sat, until Fili and Kili returned with water and three rabbits Kili had shot on the way back.

We ate in a comfortable silence, until Uncle and Kili got up to scout around the camp one last time before we turned in for the night.

As soon as Kili and Thorin left, Fili walked over and sat down next to me. He seemed to be slightly on edge some reason, yet he smiled at me all the same. "How are you fairing Ru?"

I shrugged, guilt still racked my mind from the whole Kili situation even though I knew it wasn't my fault. Even still I smiled back at him, "Well enough, I suppose."

"You've been unusually quiet." He reached for my hand and held it gently in his, "I'm worried for you."

"Do not fret. I am fine." I tried to pull my hand away, but his grip was firm.

"Please Ru," he pleaded, "I only wish for you to talk to me."

"Sorry." I didn't feel like talking so to get him to stop I leaned against his chest and closed my eyes. Slowly I fell into a deep sleep, the rhythmic beating of Fili's heart was strangely calming.

_***Line Break***_

Elrohir sat on the balcony that was attached to his room watching the world from abelow him. His eyes traveled over the familiar land that was his home. After some time he rose and walked back to his bed and collapsed into it. Just as he was about to close his eyes the bedroom door flew open loudly. He jumped three feat in the air, and glared at his twin, "You wanna be any louder Dan? I don't quite think Legolas heard you in Mirkwood."

"Ugh!" His brother groaned before he laid on the floor, "First father now you! Geeze Ro what crawled into your hair and died?"

"Sorry," Elrohir spat. "What did father do, did he revoke your sweet-roll privileges?"

Elladan smiled at that, "No, he knows better then to mess with that. He won't allow Estel and I to go on our scheduled patrol tonight."

"Can you blame him Dan?!" He exclaimed, "You know what today is!"

"No, I don't." He stated plainly.

Elrohir took a deep breath to calm his anger, "It has been five years to the day that Lothoriel was taken."

Elladan's eyes went wide with shock before they faded into sadness and understanding, "Valar Ro, I'm sorry. It slipped my mind." He stood and walked over to his twin, "You miss her a lot don't you Gwador?"

"Aye, every day I think about her. We were so close Dan, how am I supposed to just forget." Elladan placed a hand on his brothers shoulder, but Elrohir stood and walked out of the room and into the hallway. He didn't particularly want to see his brother right now. He bumped into Arwen in the hallway, "Forgive me sister, I did not see you."

She smiled up at him, "it's ok Ro, don't worry about it."

"Have you seen Adar?" He asked, trying to hide the raw emotion that hid in his voice.

Arwen's eyes grew very sad but she smiled at her older brother none the less, "He is in his chamber."

Elrohir nodded in appreciation and pushed, politely, past his sister. He walked quickly and quietly, his demeanor was strong, but it was all an act. As he reached the door he knocked and called out quietly, "Ada, are you in there?"

The door opened a few seconds later and Elrond opened his arms to his son, which he gladly melted into. Yes, sometimes even children who aren't children anymore need comfort from their parent.

_**Runin's POV:**_

I woke up before the sun had began to rise. The embers of the fire had long since gone out, but the moon was shining bright enough for me to see that Kili had fallen asleep on his watch. I wrinkled my nose at him, he should be grateful it was I who woke up and not Thorin.

I looked down and was surprised to see that I had been placed in a bed roll, and my weapons had been removed. I smiled at Fili who lay no more than a few feet from me and silently thanked him.

I readjusted myself in my bed roll and closed my eyes for no more than a second when I heard a twig suddenly break. It couldn't have been any more than a few leagues away that was followed by hushed voices, "Hey Estel why don't you be any louder."

"Well sorry, that not all of us are as gifted as you in stealth." The voices started bickering at each other as I picked up a rock and threw it in Kili's direction. He jolted awake, and just before he was about to yell at me I put a finger up to my lips. Both of us quickly, and quietly, woke up Thorin and Fili. As I was about to grab my weapons that lay on the ground Thorin thrusted me up into a tree. He motioned for me to stay hidden at all costs, so I turned and climbed.

Suddenly two tall people emerged from the thicket, "Well look who it is." The tall man with long dark brown hair spoke, "Good evening Dwarves."

I stopped dead in my tracks, I know that voice.


	4. Lost Voices

**Runin's POV:**

Usually all that needs to happen for an attack to be triggered is something small lie a word someone says, a piece of a memory fragment, or even the mere mention of a nearby pack of Orcs. So listening to a voice that I recognized, yet don't at the same time sent my mind into a frenzy. Even though the pain was immense and horrible I didn't allow myself to put Thorin, Fili, or even Kili in any more danger than they already were. Slowly and silently I did the only thing I could do, which was ease my hood over my pounding head, and cradle it gently with my hands hoping desperately that I would be able to quell the pain. My efforts were in vain of course, and at this point the only thing I could do was suck it up and attempt to focus on the scene below me.

The only person I recognized as human came forth and spoke softly yet powerfully, "What are you doing venturing so close to Imladris?"

Thorin growled at the man, his demeanor emanating anger and annoyance. "I do not see why that is any concern of yours Human."

A tall man with long brown hair came forth from behind the human. He wielded a bow that had an arrow drawn in case a fight broke out, yet his arms were relaxed proving that he thought that a fight was not going to happen. He laughed at Thorin's words, "I don't think you are in the position to be snippy Master Dwarf. I will not ask you or your company again, what is your purpose for venturing near Imladris?"

Thorin was about to lose it when Fili stepped forward, attempting to reason with them, "We mean no trouble to your watch. We are merely venturing home to Erebor after a long journey."

The brown haired man relaxed his stance even more at Fili's words, "Tis right of you to not want to give us trouble. Not only would my friends wipe the floor with you on a normal day, tonight is especially dangerous for you Dwarves to be getting on my bad side." Shaking his head slightly he turned to the human standing next to him, "Estel, roita-hain*."

In that moment the world seemed to slow and stop, he just talked in tree speak. How in the name of Durin would he know how that. The mere thought that this person knows the same language as me made the pain in my head double. I staged slightly catching myself on a nearby branch and stopped. The leaves rustled slightly around me, causing the tall man to look in my direction. I want that loud I know that, there should have been no way that he heard me. As the human Estel, I suppose was his name, began to walk towards Kili to search them Fili resisted causing the man's gaze to snap back in the direction of the Dwarves. If Fili wasn't mad before he was certainly quite infuriated now, "What we have in our pockets is no concern of yours."

The man with the bow laughed crudely and sarcastically, "I believe that it is my concern when there are four packs and beds, but no fourth Dwarf. Who is hiding in the trees I wonder? Haldir, why don't you bring forth the last piece of Dwarven scum."

If I wasn't already in so much pain maybe I would have heard the person sneaking up behind me, but by the time I realized his presence it was too late. I turned around quickly as he tried to grab my arm. I lost my footing and fell, the blonde man made an effort to reach out for my arm, but it wasn't much of one. The trees tried to catch me, but I was falling hard and fast, all they did was cut my arms and rip my cloak as the frozen ground approached quickly. I screamed once and attempted to cover my face with my arms when I finally hit the ground the wind left my lungs and anything that hadn't hurt before I fell certainly hurt now. I think I heard Thorin call my name as I hit the cold, hard earth, but I was too busy trying to catch my breath to hear him.

I curled into a ball in the dirt and clutched my head in my hands trying hard to focus on taking a breath. My chest hurt so badly but my head was worse, the world seemed like it was spinning. I heard someone sigh obviously not caring at all about what just happened to me, "Great job Haldir. Now Elrond is going to have my hide along with yours."

It was like a switch was flipped on in my head, that name Elrond, for some reason I know that name. Why I recognized it I have no idea, but the simple fact that I was able to recognize it a little made the name play over and over and over again in my head. Like a record player that was suck on a word all that I could think about was the name Elrond. I curled into myself and began choking on air, trying desperately to breath as I fell into the embrace of the worst attack that I have ever experienced.

**Fili's POV:**

I have known Runin long enough to be able to recognize the oncoming signs of these "attacks" as she calls them. I know that when I saw her land on the ground, it had already begun and it was too late to sop it. In that moment I didn't care if Sauron himself was standing in front of me, I wasn't just about to leave her on the ground without anyone there for her. I ran to her and took her in my arms, of course I was panicking, but when I realized that she couldn't breath immediately I called for Thorin who was in shock with what had just happened.

He immediately broke from his trance and ran towards us, ordering my brother to bring his pack he sat down next to me and began to shakily undo the clasp of her now ripped cloak. As my brother ran to get Uncle's pack one slammed down next to me that belonged to the human, named Estel. He spoke quickly to my uncle who made no effort to let him near Ru, "I am a healer, if you do not allow me to help I fear that she will die."

Runnin was seizing in my arms, attempting to take small gasps of air, her face was tinted a deep red, and her emerald eyes which were usually filled with happiness and joy were open but unseeing. Fear clouded them, and in that moment I have never seen my Uncle swallow so much pride, as he allowed the human to take his spot next to me. I watched helplessly, seeing her in pain staring death in the face broke my heart.

Estel worked quickly and quietly, I watched as he took some herbs from his bag and crushed it in a bowl. When he held the crushed herbs under her nose and there was no change he placed the bowl on the ground and turned to my uncle, "I need to knock her out in order for her to calm down, she's panicking and her airway is closed. If her body doesn't relax then she will die."

Thorin nodded at what the human said, my brother tuned his head not wanting to watch as Estel pressed down on a pressure point on her neck. After a moment of nothing slowly her eyes closed and her body relaxed and grew still, as this was going on her breathing regulated and color began returning to her face. Her breathing was raspy but she was breathing, I held her tightly in my arms and buried my head in her neck trying to fight back the tears that came because I knew she was going to be alright.

Suddenly we heard battle cries storming through the trees, but it turned out it was just Balin and Dwalin. They had not been traveling far behind us and heard Runin scream, knowing it all to well they rushed to our position weapons ready to defend her life. I was in too much shock to move, I didn't care about anything else in this moment. I was so scared I was going to lose her, sure havehave faced Trolls, Orcs, Elves, and a Dragon, but this was by far the scariest thing that has ever happened to me.

Dwalin and Balin were confused for a moment, but once they realized what happened they walked towards us and began inquiring about what had happened. I released Runin slightly to allow Estel the chance to bandage her minor wounds and check her pulse. As he did so he began to speak to my uncle and the rest of us. "I am Estel adopted son of Elrond, this is Elladan my older half-brother, and this is Haldir Marchwarden of the Golden Wood. You are Thorin son of Thrain correct?"

My uncle regained his hard composure before he stepped forward and answered the human, "Aye."

It seemed that the brown haired elf, Elladan, could keep his mouth shut no longer. When he spoke anger seeped from his words and voice. "She's an elf!? What is she doing with Dwarves, you are not her kin? Who and where did you steal her from?"

I have known my uncle since the day I was born I know what face he makes when he is about to scream at someone, but Balin shushed him before that could happen. He answered for him, "She is kin to us and that is all that matters." Dwalin walked over and joined me on the ground, we exchanged a glance and I handed her to him knowing that Runin means just as much to him as she does to me.

Dwalin's tough demeanor melted as soon as he held Runin in his arms. He stood holding her staring at her bandages, his eyes unmoving he spoke to my uncle, his voice shaking slightly, "We need to get her to Erebor Thorin. Her mind can't take much more of this."

"Hold on!" demanded Estel, "She is in NO condition to be traveling. Erebor is more then a fortnight's journey. Rivendell is not far, we should take her there and let Lord Elrond look her over."

Thorin was going to protest, but the aurora that hovered over Runin made him change his mind, I saw it in his eyes. Begrudgingly he agreed to follow the Elves As I turned to get on my horse I saw the human smile slightly to himself. That man will forever have my respect and trust after today.

I held Runin in my arms on my horse as my little brother lead the pony. I didn't know that to say, so I took to whispering things to her in ancient Dwarvish. She didn't move until we neared the gates of Rivendell, and even though she was only beginning to stir, my heart filled with joy and I placed a kiss on her forehead.

**Runin's POV:**

The first thing I realized when I woke up was the pain that was everywhere. My head was pounding, it hurt to breathe, and everything hurt when I moved. Fili gently called my name, but I just nuzzled myself further into his cloak. I began to wonder where I was when suddenly it all came back to me. Immediately I felt shame, I wanted to apologize, but hiding seemed like the only plausible option.

I heard something large and metal creek open slowly, followed by fast footsteps of someone coming towards us. "Elladan and Estel Half-Elven! What in the name of Valar where you thinking?!"

I flinched at the persons loud voice and curled further into Fili who began to gently hum to me quietly as someone responded to the loud person talking, "Good evening to you as well Lindir, do you happen to know where Adar is?"

The man's, who I assume was Lindir, tone was now quieter and confused, "He is in the healing chambers. He expected one of you to be hurt, allow me to take you and your guest's horses to the stables while you go see him."

After a moment or two Fili shifted and his humming stopped, "Ru I'm going to hand you to Kili so I can get off." Kili was the last person I wanted holding me was, but I did as Fili asked and remained silent as I was exchanged between the two brothers. I flinched at Kili's touch, and as Fili was getting off his horse Kili whispered a half-assed apology into my ear. I turned away from him, but in truth it felt nice that he apologized.

When I was placed into Fili's arms, I began to protest quietly but Fili just shook his head and smiled. I looked him in the eyes as he pressed his forehead against mine, "No way, you're too light as is. I don't want my little flower blowing away in the wind."

I saw Elladan tense up at that, but I shrugged it off. "Come," he spoke curtly, "the healing wing is this way."

As we followed behind him I peaked my eyes out form Fili's cloak. I was shocked when I saw the beautiful carvings that littered the walls. The walls were a beautiful white wood, littered with beautiful paintings and carvings, while the floor was composed of tan stone. My eyes landed on Fili's face, which was laden with concern and worry, "Fii?" I called in a hushed tone.

"Hmm?" he spoke, as his eyes met mine.

Quickly I averted my gaze too guilty to look him in the eyes, "I'm sorry I'm such a burden to you, and everyone else."

I felt him inhale sharply but he simply kissed my forehead gently and spoke, "We shall discuss this later."

The rest of the walk was uneventful until we passed two Elves taking in the hallway. One had brown hair and the other had golden, they seemed to be in the midst of an argument, but when we passed them the decided to follow. My headache returned full force. It was then that I had decided to stop looking around the halls because my head hurt too much to focus.

Suddenly someone started shouting from down the hall, "Estel and Elladan Half-Eleven! What in the name of Valar...?" His voice trailed off and the footsteps stopped suddenly. "Bring her here, Elladan escort the others to the parlor."

I was scared so I started shaking slightly. Fili thought this was another attack so he started to panic, which made everything worse.

**Elvish:**

**roita-hain** - search them


End file.
